Monday, February 16, 2009

A discussion

Alright. Here I go.

We’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. What are our dreams, aspirations, and goals for our life? What are the things God has called us to do? Who has he called us to be? How are we to use our gifts together, as husband and wife? How do we live out the church? Very theoretical. Very me. My husband is much more practical. Where has He called us to live? How has He called us to use our money? How do I practice Godly Architecture and service? How do we save for the future, go to school, pay off debt, while we live within our means? Very financial. Very Him.

It has lead to a discussion of out-of-the-box (or just norm) ideas. One of these—communal living. Thomas does have a few theoretical bones in his body. One of those (maybe the funny bone) speaks to the individual push on our society in America. He sees it through “urban sprawl” and other architectural-y terms. He sees the detriment of people having their own space and cutting others off. He sees the benefit of people living in cities, in community. We see it in the bible, too. In the way Jesus lived, in the way He called us to help each other, provide and support one another.

In communal living, like say 2 or 3 couples living in the same house, we have the opportunity to die to ourselves and serve…in much closer ways. It’s like forced sacrifice. Chosen-forced-sacrifice. Say, similar to a Spiritual Discipline.

So what do you think? Good, bad, ugly? And is “ugly” bad or growing?
I, personally, think it would be crazy-fun! I think my mother would think it was just plain crazy.

Let’s talk about it.
Whether it be spiritual, relational (general, spousal, and interpersonal), or financial pros and cons.

Shoot.
I’ll input, too.

8 comments:

  1. Well darling, it would be financially handy. But i am still not sharing a bathroom. Or bedrooms. Kitchens, living rooms, hallways, closets, attics, balconies etc, are fine. :)

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  2. But why those places and not your bathroom?

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  3. Jean,

    Good post! There are certainly many issues that weigh into this discussion. Communal life will certainly fail if you are not ready to give up that individuality (or most of it) that you say Thomas talks about. I believe communal living should be both terrifying and exciting. In it, people forfeit rights that they have been taught to work towards their entire lives. Freedom, prosperity, liberty, etc. Communal living requires putting the needs of the community before my own personal desires. I think that it should be pursued though, especially by those who feel the burdens of loneliness, isolation, financial strains, spiritual individualism, etc. Good questions.

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  4. Thomas, why don't you want to share a bathroom? I figure put a urinal in there, a flat screen TV. Turn it into a lounge man.

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  5. Andy-
    Thanks for your comments! I think you hit on a unique point. This isn't something that everyone should do, or is a requirement for our faith. However, it is an opportunity for personal, spriritual, (financial) growth. The growth is up to each person.

    I'm not sure about the urinal thing...

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  6. Jean,
    I am in complete agreement with Thomas that society (don't forget Satan in this) has encouraged us to be whoever we want to be, including surreal profiles that do not exist. Evidence facebook and dating services, emails and texting replacing conversations and, hey, this medium over sitting over a cup of coffee. There is a theory that society has become severely detached and that the increase in anger and anxiety in people is because they're are not validated or accepted for who they REALLY are. One step further, we build churches and services to fit the needs of these people which, if originally built on false truth we end up with....but I digress.
    Andrew makes a good point about communal living and individual rights and putting the needs of the community before your own desires. I think communal living is Acts 2 and that it can be rewarding, challenging and glorious if done through Christ. I think it is what He died to redeem for us and it was his original plan for us. Difficult? Yes. Worth it, yes! Been there, done that.
    I agree with having a space that is a quiet and private place much like the hillside that we assume Jesus retreated to for prayer. Maybe its a bathroom for Thomas. (TMI) But the Lord created us as individual people with a universal purpose and there is room for each of these life forms in the communal model.
    Talk Back.

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  7. I like what you said Barb about there being both an individual as well as universal identity within us. My initial scare about this type of living was the fear of not having enough privacy. I always assumed that a certain privacy was neccasary for a marriage to grow. I just don't know where the line is between that neccassary privacy, and privacy that we think is important due to growing up in an individualistic society. Perhaps I would just have to experience it to find out.

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  8. Thomas: Your instinctive insistence on privacy in the marriage relationship is absolutely appropriate. The lines that we draw and create in a communal living situation are drawn to maintain that sacred marriage-oneness, as well as to decipher how our marriages are intertwined with other people. This whole communal living aspect is so counter-cultural, that you are probably right about not "knowing" in an epistemological sense until having experienced such an immersion. That line that you speak of is a difficult one to draw, and if you choose to begin such an endeavor, I would draw that line with a pencil and have a good eraser handy.

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